Voluntold: The story of how we started a Cub Scout Pack

It all started with a photo.  When my son C was three we sent him off to school, while there he became friends with another little boy,  G.  G happens to have awesome parents who we really like. And as a bonus G has a younger brother who is the same age as my daughter E.  But back to that photo, the teacher at the preschool sent us a photo of G and C holding hands and walking on the playground.  They were so cute, little guys just being friends.

Fast forward a few years, both of our families have transitioned to other schools.   Our school has a long history of scouting but partners with a church and when C was old enough to start scouts it was a transition year for the Cub Scout leadership there. It was uncertain if a Pack was going to be active.  G's school was a newly opened campus and had put out the word they needed parents to create extracurricular ideas. G's mom started making phone calls and the one I was part of invited my son and family to help start a new Pack.

It was easier than expected to open a new Cub Scout Pack.  After a few meetings with a Boy Scouts District Executive and lots of forms we had a Pack number, sponsor organization, meeting space and the required five boys and five adults.  But it wasn't five boys it was twenty-one!

Over the past school year we have camped out, held a pinewood derby, learned all about the circle of blood, and so much more.

As the Summer has progressed our Pack is still rolling along and having way more fun than I expected.  The way our group breaks down is into Dens for each grade level and then the parents work as the force behind all of our activities.  We are very lucky to have a group of very talented and generous people helping our children learn about scouting and the character development that is offered.  If you decide to build a new Cub Scout Pack I must advise you that having a BBQ Chef and a carpenter on your parent team makes things so much easier.  

Pack 333 is about to launch the second year of our charter and I am excited to be eligible for a "Founder" designation for a scouting group.  

If you have children that are school aged (K-College) there is a scouting option out there.  Boys and girls are part of the international programs offered.  Scouts are growing in Middle Tennessee, having gained 3000 participants in the 2016-2017 academic year.  

Last thought, the program in and of itself is very well designed.  Before you join a scout group talk to the leadership.  Those are the people who will make or break your family's experience in scouting.  My son is a fourth generation scout following his dad, great uncle, and great-grandfather into the program developed over 100 years ago.  There are changes since my grandfather was a scout in the 1930's but at the core it is still the same

A Scout is:

• Trustworthy,
• Loyal,
• Helpful,
• Friendly,
• Courteous,
• Kind,
• Obedient,
• Cheerful,
• Thrifty,
• Brave,
• Clean,
• and Reverent.

Does this make me look like a serial killer?

Paper masks for skin care have gained in popularity and I love them!

Today the kids are at summer camps that require a midday pick up and shuttle to a different campus.  So I have an hour or so to kill between drop off and getting in line for pick up at morning camp.

The Target shop around the corner happens to stock a slew of these masks.  Every skin ailment seems to have it's own little packet in the paper mask section.  Today intense hydration is my pick.  Tomorrow it may switch to plumping or exfoliating.

For right now I aim to not look like a bank robber as I dash to get children for the midday swap.

Review: Burger Rebublic

Restaurant review: Burger Republic (Gulch) 02/17/2016

Burger Republic in the Gulch has a solid four Baby Carrots ranking.

Seating: At lunch it was prompt on a holiday Monday, booths or bar seating

Service: Tableside server, she was quick, helpful and seemed to have fun talking to my children

High chairs: Yes

Changing table: Yes in Ladies room, clean rest rooms

Kids Menu: Yes with crayons and no split charge for kid’s to share items

Parking: surface or garage pay lots, no validation is offered

Cost: Moderate ($11-30 per person, Kids menu )

The hamburger , Nashville hosts a variety of restaurants to enjoy every incarnation of this stalwart of the back yard feast.  This is not a debate of the best in town, each resident of this fine city can offer up a great argument as to why any spot offers their favorite form of the hamburger.

Our family enjoys Burger Republic, they have a variety of solidly classic burgers, sandwiches, milkshakes, and salads.   Having won a slew of awards for their creations, it’s hard to narrow down the menu to what is most delicious.  We have seen a wide variety of guests here ranging from young families like us to people filtering in from the surrounding offices and condos.  The atmosphere is pleasant and the noise level is such that if your child is a loud talker it won’t be an issue to the surrounding booths.  Music is often 70’s to 90’s inspired play lists with songs you’ll find yourself noting you haven’t heard in a long time. 

On our most recent visit it was a just mom and kids day so we skipped the Tater-tot Fondue, this dish requires healthy appetites and is a family favorite when we all dine together.  I enjoyed the West Coast burger with truffle tots and a glass of wine (it was one of those super fun days).    My children prefer to share the children’s slider plate with tater-tots and copious amounts of ketchup.   When my husband has dined with us previously he ordered the Tennessee Burger, honored as a Zagat’s Guide 50 Burgers in 50 States.   Paired with either the Kentucky Thunder boozy shake or the ABC (assassination by chocolate); chocolate is his go to milkshake.   If your children are old enough for a milkshake BR can split the shake into smaller glasses to make it a child’s. 

Dining with children means bathroom visits, we managed to keep it down to a very pleasant one visit to wash hands before eating.   The bathrooms are clean and have changing tables.

We always have tater-tots at BR.  I finally worked up the courage to ask what the secret was to the truffle tots.  Butter. Prepare your tater tots, and toss them with a blend of butter and truffle oil.  Finish with chopped green onions and shaved parmesan to recreate this tasty snack at home. 

http://burgerrepublic.com/the-gulch/

Review: The Hook

Restaurant review: The Hook 02/19/2016

The Hook has a 4.5 Baby Carrots ranking.

Seating:  Self seating, plenty of open tables

Service: Counter order,  brought to table and they have bussers

High chairs: Yes                                                                                        

Changing table: Yes in Ladies room, clean rest rooms

Kids Menu: Yes, no split charge for kid’s to share items. No coloring pages offered

Parking: dedicated surface lots

Cost: Moderate ($11-30 per person, Kids menu )

Low Country Boil,

http://www.thehooknashville.com/

Infant Loss

“Mommy Williams, you have visitors.” When you are in the NICU those are exciting words to hear.  Our first child was born at gestational 30 weeks.   Premature but in a range of development that usually has good outcomes even though a NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) stay is required to encourage weight gain and to assess other gestational development markers are being met before the baby goes home.

The visitors that day were friends, the wife a pregnancy buddy. We have known each other for years and were excited to have due dates within weeks of each other; hers was in late February, mine early April.  So to be standing together the last week of January in the NICU was not part of our plan as friends or as parents.   Today her daughter is a vivacious and active child, she loves school and is earning what seems to be a new belt every month in her martial arts classes.  Our son is buried near his great-grandparents, having passed away just shy of three weeks old from NEC (Necrotizing enterocolitis)

The few weeks we spent as NICU parents were of extreme up and down emotions.  It had been an uneventful pregnancy.  Initially everything seemed to be going well, so within forty-eight hours we were transitioned from the highest level care room to the step down.  Breathing on his own, maintaining his body temperate, and eating were early challenges he conquered easily.  Again, a few days of smooth progress and we went to the infant PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit).  As the nurses cared for our child we worked to sort out the logistics of bringing home a baby that would need additional monitoring.  After a week in the PICU his feedings became more challenging, he wasn’t having the diaper output that was expected and a diagnosis of NEC was discovered.  This meant we went back to the NICU so he could be more closely cared for and have access to daily babygrams (Infant full body x-ray services that are done bed side).  We had conferences with the neonatology team discussing the possibility of surgical repair of the area that was most damaged by NEC.  Topics included what this would mean for his ability to absorb nutrients, what the growth challenges would be as he aged and how short gut syndrome would alter how he would develop.  The next babygram showed further damage, too extensive to be repaired.  We started making airline reservations for grandparents.  Three of our parents were able to come and hold him before we had to say goodbye. 

Several groups exist across the country to support families as they navigate the often overwhelming NICU experience.  The amazing team of volunteers through Parents Reaching Out (https://www.parentsreachingout-tn.org) visit families at several Nashville area hospitals.  The Director of PRO Traci Foyster is parent to a NICU graduate, making her uniquely aware of what a family may need for support. 

Infant loss is a difficult topic to talk about, even among close family and friends.  It is a strange grief, loss of expectations and future plans instead of a loss of shared past.  When you have a grandparent or friend die, there are memories of moments spent together.  You have photos or other mementos to buoy you forward as you work through the space that is left by their no longer being with you.   When a child dies, for the rest of your time, you as a parent have moments that feel off kilter for no obvious reason until you remember it would have been their birthday, or they would have been maid of honor at your other child’s wedding.  Even seeing a friend’s child that would have been close in age can trigger an emotional response you had not anticipated.  The hardest, and ultimately most healing, part of infant loss is sharing the loss with others.  Knowing that your child, no matter how far along in development, is at least known to have lived.

Grandmother’s China

It was a dark and stormy night…

No, actually it was a gorgeous sunny, hot July day and my children were on deck for their next swim heat at the weekly meet when my phone rang, buzzed, and bleated that I had calls, texts, and emails coming in. 

“It’s your Uncle John.  He thinks he’s having a heart attack and the EMTs have been called.”  The next deluge of calls was to say he had passed away and my grandfather was being transported to a hospital for evaluation.  We left the swim meet early.

Uncle John had been my grandparent’s caretaker for a few years; he lived with them and made it possible for them to stay in their home rather than an assisted living facility as they aged into their 90’s.  For most families the passing of an uncle or aunt would be a fairly straight forward loss.   But that was not what happened with the passing of Uncle John.

A few years ago, 1995 to be exact, my grandparents called in their children for The Talk.  They sat down and my grandparents mapped out what they had put in place for their estate, they let everyone know they had a will and had established a family trust for their house.  They were on top of things in 1995. 

Now in 2015 as the family traded phone calls and tried to sort out a plan after the loss of Uncle John things about the will and the intentions of my grandparents became murky.   When my grandmother passed away in 2014 everyone agreed that we would wait for my grandfather to also pass away before anything was done about the estate.  This sounds fancy but it was only their home and personal belongings.  Then Uncle John died before his father.  Uncle John was the only person in the family who knew where their will was kept, who had banking information, who knew anything about all of the bits and pieces that would need to be taken care of once both my grandmother and grandfather were gone.    As the surviving family we were all at a loss about how to best handle the next steps. 

In the interceding months our family has found many needed documents.  Yes the will was discovered, it had not been updated since 1995 and many items listed had been sold off over the two decades since it was drafted, additionally items had not been added to the lists such as vehicles.  We managed to sort out how to disperse their estate as closely to their wishes as we could, except for grandma’s china which we are still debating how to share between the grandchildren.

My husband and I realized as we sifted through my grandparent’s home that we had not really organized things in a way that anyone could use if we were to die.   The list includes but is not limited to a contact list, life insurance policy information, guardianship details for our children, advanced directives for medical care, property information such as mortgage company contracts, deeds, titles, car loans, banking info including credit card contact information.  

How can your family avoid this?  First, find all your important documents and file them together. (Amazon has a huge selection of filing systems for this https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=death+organizer&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Adeath+organizer )  

The American Bar Association has put together an article at this URL that contains links to forms they have created to help anyone in planning for the inevitable.

http://www.americanbar.org/content/newsletter/publications/gp_solo_magazine_home/gp_solo_magazine_index/planning_death.html

If you look at the ABA link and it seems over whelming http://www.naepc.org lists local legal professionals who are certified in estate planning.

LegalZoom.com also has, for a small fee, estate planning kits

http://www.legalzoom.com/sem/last-will-and-testament.html?kid=682dde2e-257a-4f77-96b4-ba2bf1d59574&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=online%20estate%20planning&utm_campaign=EP%20|%20Estate%20Planning&cvokid=682dde2e-257a-4f77-96b4-ba2bf1d59574&keyword=online%20estate%20planning&matchtype=broad&cvosrc=ppc.google.online%20estate%20planning&gclid=Cj0KEQjwztG8BRCJgseTvZLctr8BEiQAA_kBD0GaBv3RdKcv3AijaRJLwYVjPeZOKE1hOsVWYuNXN24aAkYk8P8HAQ

It is difficult to think about death of a loved one, especially your death.  It is more difficult to be the spouse, children and possibly parents left wondering why you did not make the effort to plan ahead.   

Nothing Fancy; Tortilla Soup

The best thing about this soup is how flexible it is, vegetarian? use vegetable broth, add more legumes and leave out the chicken.  Carnivore? add more meat.  Allergy issues? leave out the dairy or corn chips etc.

Additionally, it can be all made from canned items or it can be made fresh from your garden.  

Rosa’s Tortilla Soup 

·        14 1/2 oz can undrained whole tomatoes (about 5 fresh diced tomatoes)

·        1 small onion 

·        1 cup fresh cilantro

·        2 minced garlic cloves

·        1/4 teaspoon sugar (this can be omitted)

·        10 cups chicken (fat-free or low sodium) or vegetable broth

·        1 tablespoon cumin

·        1 teaspoon black pepper

·        1 can black beans drained

·        1 can Mexicorn or sweet corn drained (about 3 cobs of fresh corn and one small jalapeno or chili)

·        optional 4 chicken breast, cooked and chopped (or chopped raw chicken can be used if allowed to cook for 30 min)

·        1-2 diced avocados (optional)

·        2 cups low fat cheese (I prefer sharp cheddar)

·        tortilla chips

·        Salsa

·        Sour Cream

1.)         In blender/ food processor combine tomatoes, onion, cilantro, garlic, and sugar; blend until chunky.

2.)        In a large soup pot combine tomato mixture and broth; simmer 20 minutes.  Add the rest of the ingredients and bring to a boil. (cooked, chopped chicken breast can be added at this time)

3.)        Pour hot soup into bowls, sprinkle with cheese and tortilla chips.

4.)        Serve hot.